R & R In the 503

Here's what's happened since the last time I wrote;
- Got through finals and ended up doing a lot better than I thought I did.
- Ended up getting snowed in Down in Eugene by myself for a couple days until I decided take a chance and try getting off our hill which was pretty much a sheet of ice.
- I made it back to Tualatin safe and sound with Pippin riding copilot.
- Endured the biggest winter storm since 1968
- Had a lovely christmas
- Went snowboarding with my Brother and his girlfriend on Saturday and fell in love with it all over again.

The next few days should be quite fun as well. Today is Gary's 21st birthday. We're going to hit up good old Mashita's for dinner and then head downtown to his condo before we hit up some bars. I'm still not sure what the plan is for new years, but I'm sure we'll find a decent way to welcome the new year.

I lucked out with the snow storm and didn't have to go back to work for a couple days last week. It's been extremely relaxing just being able to hang out around the house, shovel some snow, and just clear my thoughts before I head back for a much busier term than the last.

So far it's been a very lovely holiday season. The only thing that is missing is Barbie. I miss hear dearly and wish I could have spent the past week with her by my side.

We Come To It At Last... Finals.

At times, things seem to be moving quite slowly, but it seems like every time a term ends I feel like it blew by in a flash.

This week is finals week. I really need to nail the 3 exams I have in order to maintain my 3.5 gpa (which I will need to hold if I want to get into the UofO business school next year). I kind of screwed myself over by totally forgetting about our second Econ midterm was a couple weeks ago. Luckily, my amazingly sympathetic teacher let me take it the day after since I missed the previous lecture due to some car troubles. I still wasn't nearly as prepared as I normally would have been but was able to scrape a C+ out of the thing which dropped me down to a B.

My first Exam is at Noon today. It is for my Spanish 101 class. I'm not sure what I am doing on the computer instead of getting some last minute studying in... so off I go.

Love Hurts...

... But sometimes it's a good hurt.

Saying goodbye to Barbie was easily the hardest thing I've ever done. I have never known a love like the love I shared with her. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when we decided to start dating but I guess I never thought about how hard it would actually be.

Her departure followed an absolutely perfect weekend up in Portland where she came with me to spend Thanksgiving with me and my family. I was so happy that they finally got to meet so my parents could see what an amazing person she is. They agreed with me 100%.

I miss her so much already. Every little thing reminds me of her and I am still trying to choke back tears. I'm not sure what the future holds for us... but if it is meant to be then it is meant to be (and I like to think it is).

Guh.

My ducks are certainly not in a row.

Proud To Be an American!

Yesterday I (along with the rest of the country) witnessed history as the American people elected our first African American President.

Last night was one of the happiest, most exciting, inspiring, touching, proudest moments of my life. I remember learning about the civil rights movement of the 50's and 60's as early as Elementary School. I remember my Dad telling me he was sure there would be a Black President someday, but probably not in our lifetime because, unfortunately, there is still quite a bit of racism out there.

This is not only a Victory for Barack Obama and Democrats, it is a victory for the African American community. It is another huge step forward in this amazing country, and another step closer to fulfilling the dream that was once had by Martin Luther King Jr.

My (our) generation has a huge opportunity to make a difference. Let's go for it!

Old Mold

Yesterday was my 24th Birthday. Wow. Maybe it's because most of my friends are a few years younger than me, but I really feel old. It makes me realize just how far behind I am compared to just about everyone else I graduated with. I'm finally doing what I need to do, but I really can't wait to get it over with.

There are so many things I want to accomplish before I settle down and what not, and I really feel like time is running out.

Full steam ahead.

I'd Break My Neck To Keep My Chin Up

It's been awhile since I've written anything in the good old Blog. Many things worthy of writing about have happened but they are also what has kept me from taking the time to actual sit down and actually do it.

Probably the biggest news since my last entry is that I got myself a Kitty! His name is Pippin, and he is the cutest thing in the world. I got him when I was still shacking up at Stu and Hunter's place which I now regret. The little stinker actually got outside twice during the first week I had him. The first time was my fault my taking him outside (while holding him) to try and get him to stop meowing. We found him under our neighbores house two nights later, and with the help of Brad, got him back inside. Two nights after that, he actually broke through the window screen in the living room while I was sleeping. I came down to feed him when I woke up to find him gone again. This time he was outside for 3 days. We actually had to move in to our new place during this time and I wasn't about to give up on him. I went back down to Hunter's one night and waited on the porch where I left his food hoping he would show up. Well, lucky for me he did.
I grabbed him by the neck and took him home with me where he has mellowed out quite a bit.

Along with the Kitty Drama, school has started back up. I was pretty excited to start a full load again but quickly started wishing it was summer again. The teachers, fellow student, schedule, just aren't working for me so far.

A couple things that have been going great, however, are my band (stu is back playing with us) and my amazing girlfriend!

From a lack of focalin and a tired mind, I am going to cut this short. Plus I think I am going to throw up.

Me and My Aphetamine

My Blog is named "The Focalin Dairies" for a reason. I take a stimulant called Focalin, which is a drug that deals with ADD (not ADHD), and also gives me a boost of energy and motivation. The pill is in a time release form that gives off a dose every two hours over a twelve hour time span. So, if I take the pill too late in the day, chances are I am not going to sleep well. This was the case yesterday. This is a perfect example of how It's sometimes hard to decide whether or not the posstive effects of this drug outweigh the negative. I wasn't able to sleep last night because of the Focalin, but there is no way in Zeus's Butthole I'd be able to think clearly while taking my last final of the summer this morning without it.


***EDIT*** This was supposed to be posted the 16th of August. Weird.

Shacked Up In My Cupboard

Well, we moved out of the house last weekend which turned out to be a lot less painful than our move was last year. However, since we can't move into our new place for another week or so, I've been staying in a tiny little 7' x 9' room at Stu, Hunter, and Brad's new place. The house is really nice. It's also right behind our old 1911 Augusta house!

We decided to have a pre beginning-of-the-year party last weekend which turned out to be a lot of fun. It was the most carefree night of partying I've had in a long time. No stupid drama, and not one flat billed hat in sight (that I noticed).

Over the past week I've also started dating a girl who I met back during winter term in the Jazz Choir that I play drums for. I had a mad crush on her for awhile only to later discover that she had a boyfriend :( But we've been hanging out every now and then over the summer and now I couldn't be happier :) The sad part is that she is moving back to Taiwan at the end of November, but I hope we can make the best out of what time we have together for she leaves :)

Where To Begin?

The toughest part about packing for a move is trying to figure out where to begin. I hate how everything gets 10 times messier before you finally start to see some progress. I'm not sure how it happens, but I seem to accumulate a lot more junk than any of my other roommates.

I've also noticed that I am somewhat of a pack rat. I have kept stuff like bead necklaces from my high school grad night party which was 5 years ago. I know why I do it though... I imagine myself someday showing my kids these things that have some sentimental value to me, and thinking they would find it interesting. I know that when I was younger my dad would share old pictures of himself when he was a kid and I thought it was fascinating. It will be a huge letdown if I hold on to these things for so long to find out that my kids really don't give a damn about their Dad's plastic party necklace.

But I digress... We need to be out of here in less than a week, and all I have packed is one box of clothes. I was planning on taking advantage of not having class or work yesterday and use it to get as much packing done as I could. Instead I ended up hiking Spencer's Butte twice, followed by getting drunk with a room full of dudes.

Yesterday just may have been the least productive day of my life.

.... But it was fun.

I wish there was something inside me to keep you beside me.

I don't know why, but whenever I am in a relationship, there are times where I miss being single... and then, whenever I am single, I long for the comfort of a real relationship. It makes me wonder what it is I actually want. Perhaps it's just that I haven't found the right person. I only started thinking about this because as I was cleaning out my desk drawers I came across an old picture of one my my ex's and actually pinned it to my peg board. I knew it was pathetic when I did it, but I did it anyway and have yet to take it down.

Summer, Summer.

There is so much to live for in this world we live in
A billion reasons why we shouldn't give in
There will be days that bring inclement weather
But we'll wait it out until it gets better



I'll finish this later. For now, it's back to Wildwood!

Owned.

She came back from Europe, we went to the bars, she made out with some dude with a flat bill.

That's how that ended.

On a better note, Hunter is back! Can't wait to hear some hilarious stories.

Last weekend I went on a hike up Coffin mountain with my Dad. The drive from Eugene took about 2 hours along the McKenzie R. highway. Instead of sharing music with each other, like we usually do, we just talked. I respect my Dad (and Mom) more than anyone I've ever met. In just two hours he gave me more words of wisdom that I could ever accumulate from any self help/inspiration books. I can only hope that I can be as much of a positive influence on my children as he has been to me.

Nothing To Say, But I Had To Say Something.

Only two more weeks of Math! Thank God.

I miss a girl. Not sure if she feels the same.

One More Time

In my last post, I mentioned that I would write a review on "The Dark Knight." Well, I think I am going to have to see it ONE MORE TIME before I do. The story is so complex, and I want to get everything right.

With that said, I better see it again soon before I forget the things I already know.

This is all of course just one bad excuse for me to see the film for a third time.

I'm pathetic.

"Madness is a lot like gravity. All you need is a little push."

"The Dark Knight" is a Masterpiece. I am going to go see it again tonight, then will try my best to write an in depth review tomorrow.

I'm back in Tualatin at the moment with a whole lot of nothing to do until my friends get off work.
I suppose I'll go visit Grandma and Grandpa for a bit. They'll like that :)

Why So Serious?!

I can't even describe how excited I am for 'The Dark Knight' premier tomorrow!!!


Let's put a smile on that face!

"The Awesome Spot" & Plancakes. Yes... Plancakes.

At the beginning of the week, Mo and I made plans to take a day trip to Florence over the weekend before both of our schedules became even busier than they already are. Later in the week we recruited Jeff & Dennis to join in on the adventure.

I really wanted to take them to Honeyman State Park. I used to go there quite a few times when I was just a wee lad. My Dad would usually take my Brother and I for a boys weekend at least every other year or so from when I was about 4 years old up until around the time I was in middle school. Honeyman is about 2 miles from the coast and is right on Woahink Lake. There are about 2 miles of dunes that stretch from the lake all the way to the ocean. half of the lake is surrounded by tunes that run straight down into the water, and the other half is lined with a beautiful coastal forest.

As soon as we got into town we rented some sandboards to take out onto the dunes. I'm a pretty horrible snowboarder, so needless to say, I wasn't all that great of a sandboarder either. It was still pretty fun though. The majority of the afternoon consisted of us swimming in the lake (which was surprisingly refreshing). We made some new friends who about about 5 and 3 years old who probably made more use out of our boards than we did. We built a little ramp in front of the lake took a bunch of pictures which turned out hilarious.

For lunch we naturally hit up Mo's, in Old Town Florence. Dennis and Mo probably consumed about 20 saltines each before we even ordered our food. Unfortunately, by the time we finished out lunch and got back to Honeyman, the wind had really picked up. While we were gone, some dudes built a huge mound by the lake that was about 8 feet tall and were jumping off of it. I had to try it in spite of the chilliness & was glad I did. We didn't stay much longer and instead decided to hit up another spot my Dad used to take us.

There is a really cool trail at a place called Sutton Creak camp ground that leads you through about half a mile of rolling dunes before you get the the ocean. Let's just say that bear Gryll's has nothing on us. It was so windy that the sand literally stung any part of our body that wasn't clothed. I felt kind of bad for leading the guys out there but it was still pretty cool in a way.

We finished the trip up with some ice cream from BJ's where we were served by what seemed to be the only good looking girls in Florence.

Now it's back to reality. I need to do some maths before I think of something else that will delay me from doing homework!

"Enough With the Fat Lady! You're Obsessed With the Fat Lady!"

About 20 minutes ago, as a result of absolute boredom, I decided to google my name and see what came up. In the midsts of a bunch of band crap, a link to my first livejournal page was listed! I started that page when I was still in high school. I spent a good amount of time laughing and cringing at some of the things I said. One post I came across however made me realize how far I've come since those days.

I wrote " I don't belong here. I need to climb higher peaks, swim wider oceans, eat bigger hamburgers."

Looking back on the past year especially, I can say that I have climbed higher peaks, swam wider oceans, and have definitely ate some large hamburgers (figuratively speaking of course... except for the part about the hamburgers).

Summer has been nice so far. I finally got a job lined up at Cafe Yumm which I will be balancing with a math and health class. We have a small mice problem at the house which is kind of weezing my my gig. At least it's not rats. We had an amazing 4th of July which included a nice little hike in the morning, a visit from Gary, a tasty BBQ at Mr. Andrew Plambek's house, and to finish it off, a grand screening of independence day!

Mo and I are delving in to a pretty rigorous workout program which will hopefully result in us being able to single handedly take back Prussia and reform the once great German state.

... then maybe I'll help him take back Texas for the Mexicans or something.

A Small Victory

Bear Grylls says that survival is all about small victories. I think with life in general all we need are a few small victories to keep us going.

My small victory was completing a year of college without any failed classes. Not only that, but I was able to maintain a 3.6 gpa for the year. This might sound sad to some, but I went through some tough times ever since graduating high school and just wasn't able to buckle down and motivate myself to do well in school. Now, however, I know what needs to get done and am finally doing it.

Spring term ended a couple weeks ago with a cakewalk of a finals week. I was able to go back home for a few days and play in the Father/Son golf tournament with my Dad on Father's day. That was a lot of fun for me. Usually I would try not to impose and just let my Brother play with him (they have a much better chance of winning that way). Matt was out of town that weekend so I stepped in and just tried not to scar the family name.

Spent most of last week searching for a job back here in Eugene. It looks like I might be getting a job at Eugene Country Club!

I'm also taking a Math class and a Personal Health class this summer so I think I'll be kept pretty busy.

Did I mention I hate math?

There's No Place Like the Stage.

I've been playing a lot of music with a number of different groups these past few months.

Aside from my main band (scene in stereo), and the 3 ensembles I play for at school, I've also been playing with a dude I met at Lane and his friend from OSU in their group "Stateside Traffic."

At first I took this gig mainly because SIS doesn't get to play as much as I would like (due to our singers very busy school schedule), but it has turned out to be really fun as well as a good opportunity to get my "Brand" out there. That sounds like a smug thing to say, but it's the word my piano and Jazz Choir instructor used to describe what she has done here in Eugene. This lady is a working musician who drives a Mercedes and rarely works outside the Eugene area. Now, in her case, her success due in large part to her just being better at what she does than most people, but also in large part to her networking and playing for just about anyone and just about anywhere. I'm not saying I want to work towards that over the next 25 years. What I am trying to do is to expose myself as much as possible on this local scene so when someone needs a drummer for any kind of gig, there will be a good chance that this person, company, event comity, promoter has already heard my name.

So far I have been lucky enough to play with these two bands as well as a fantastic singer/songwriter named Shane Holt. Also, Through Viki (the lady I talked about earlier) I have played a wedding, recorded drums for a local musical, & filled in for the Thurston High School Jazz choir.

This year has opened a lot of doors for me musically. And it all came together this week where I had 3 rehearsals with Shane, 2 rehearsals with Stateside Traffic, a choir concert Thursday night, and then a Jazz Combo concert Friday night where I played at 7:30 and then immediately drove back to the UO campus where I played with both Shane and ST on the same bill.

In midst of all this when have I had time to study? Well, I haven't. I better get to it I guess. Bio final in about 12 hours! yay!

Battle Scars, Baby!

So, my last post was about me being excited over some new kick ass Basketball shoes, right?
Yeah... well now I have a broken nose.

A week ago today I was playing in a pickup game at the rec and got elbowed in the face by some Bro who was about 6'2'' 210 lbs. The initial pain was twice as excruciating than when I broke my hand a couple years ago. I felt ridiculous rolling around on the ground like I was having a seizure or something... but it honestly killed. The best way I can describe it is when you are watching a fight scene in a movie and something happing where you just cringe and say to yourself or whoever you are watching the flick with, "Jesus, that would fucking hurt."

Well, despite tears running down my face and stars floating all over the place I decided to stay in the game to make up for maybe being a little over dramatic. Well, I don't think I was being dramatic, but this stuff happens all the time in these games and I didn't want to look ineffectual competitor in just my second week playing with these guys. Also, there wasn't any blood which really made me feel stupid after the display I put on after getting hit. However, I woke up in the middle of the night with a really dried up nose. I went upstairs to take a leak and pick some bogies to find my nose and the area around my eyes incredibly swollen and the sweet boogers I picked to be bloody.

Now by this point I was pretty sure it was broken but didn't want to make to big a deal about it so I just gave it a couple days and by Sunday it looked ok. My nose was still tender but wasn't crooked our anything so I just figure I just had a little cartilage damage or something. Being the impatient fool I am, I decided to hit the courts that night. During my third game, some dude was trying to save a ball and chucked it blindly with me standing right behind him. This time the blood game immediately. I stumbled out of the gym feeling like I was going to faint from the pain. This time, I woke up to black under my eyes which is a sure sign of a broken nose.

I honestly can't seem to go about doing the things I enjoy without getting hurt. Earlier in the year I messed up my ankle while I was training for the Eugene Half-Marathon and now I wait a good month before I can hit the court again.

I know a broken nose is no big deal, and that this post may be a cry for someone to feel sorry for me... but in reality I just wanted to write it down hopping I will look at this in a couple years and laugh at the fact that I spent this much time writing down the play-by-play of how I suffered a minor broken nose.

Got me some Jordan's. I seriously don't think I've worn high-top shoes since Freshman Year.

I'm pretty sure the 16 year old Ben could beat the present Ben in a game of Basketball, also.

DO WORK.

It's nice coming out of the weekend knowing you didn't just waste two whole days. Last weekend I played 18 holes of golf on Saturday and Sunday when I had no business doing so (because of the studying I should have been doing). This weekend, however, was fun AND productive.

Friday night my band (Scene In Stereo) played at a party, 'Augusta Palooza' if you will, hosted by our good friend, Mr. Brad Groves. We played our normal set with the addition of 'American Girl' by Tom Petty. I think that was the first time we've played a cover live since I've been in this band! We played quite well which is nice since our last two shows have been near disasters. We defiantly needed a good performance under our belt's to boost our moral a bit.

After our set, a Hip-Hop group called Outelligence played. Easily the most fun part of the night (for us and the crowed in seemed) was when we came up on stage after a few of their songs were their backing band for Gorilla Radio. I just wish the kids went as nuts as they did for us as they did during that song. Either way is was a blast.

Ahimsa Theory played after us and sounded fantastic as usual. About 30 minutes after their set the police showed up and shut things down. Luckily their weren't any fines or arrests this time around (there were both last year).

I spent all of Saturday playing and recording drums at my friend Joel's place. And Sunday consisted mainly of cleaning and reading. On that note, I am going to end this pointless description of my weekend and continue All Quite On the Western Front.

Do work.

IF ONLY I WAS A CHAD BRO.

My head is so lost in the clouds right now that I'm just waiting for an airplane or something to sever it so it will drop back down to earth.

I started this year with what seemed like enough enthusiasm to keep me motivated throughout the year, but lately I've been getting sidetracked by the things that have kept me behind in the past.

I've been holding on to relationship that never was (or ever will be) for reasons that are pathetic and unhealthy. I can't pull myself away completely because I truly enjoy this persons company and would hate to not have any sort of relationship with them at all. At the same time, if things stay the way they are and I see her with some other guy, I know that I'll be just as hurt as I would if we were an actual couple. This is the sort of high school BS that has been plaguing my thoughts for about a week.

In relation to what I just wrote, I can't think of anything I would like more than to remember what a real kiss felt like sober. Pretty sad, huh?